NYC couple consider starting family, hesitate because their combined income is only $920k a year: 'Imagine being this mentally trapped'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Jan 22, 2026 9:00 AM EST

Kids are an expense that fewer and fewer people believe they can afford.

The reality is that even the thriftiest of parents endure a lot of extra expenses when they choose to bring a new person or several into the world. Having children is one of the ultimate financial investments, and there are no guarantees that it will pay off. Some claim that they did everything right, and yet their adult kids still don't speak to them. There have been studies that suggest up to a quarter of millennials and Gen Z have made the choice not to have kids because they are worried about money. It cannot be denied that the soaring cost of living only makes this daunting decision all the more anxiety-inducing. 

At the same time, millions of people have babies without a big pile of money to support them, and they somehow make it work. Also, a lucky minority of those who stress about whether they can afford children really have no business doing so when you take a look at their bank accounts. For some prospective parents, it is not a matter of covering their basic needs, but making sure they can maintain a certain lifestyle for every member of the family.

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  • a glass with different types of dollar bills in it and a calculator on a table
    via Karolina Grabowska (Unsplash+)

  • It is undeniable that no matter what financial background somebody has, a baby will make a dent in their income that they are not likely to get back. Still, the size of that dent is pretty negligible for some people.

    In this story, one half of a New York couple managed to raise eyebrows after he shared his anxieties surrounding whether he and his partner, both in their late thirties, were in the right position to start a family. They both had high-paying jobs and had hopes that maybe they would be able to retire early thanks to their elevated income. However, they were conscious of the fact that having children may drastically change these future plans.

    It is little surprise that the wider internet found this whole conundrum kind of ridiculous, not least because their combined yearly earnings were close to $1 million. Some people just have different priorities. 

  • lol @cardamomkiss
    via cardamomkiss
  • r/HENRYfinance M u/PF_throwaway26 • 3d. $750k-1m/y Join How do HENRYS afford to start a family in NYC? Income and Expense Happy 2026! We are a 37M/28F DINK couple in NYC interested in starting a family, but feel like we don't have any good options for how to proceed. I'm interested in what other HENRYS think about starting a family in VHCOL while staying on FIRE track (or maybe giving up on or delaying FIRE to have kids). Any advice would be appreciated. Here are our 2025 stats for background. 2
    via cardamomkiss
  • joseph @stinkbug Replying to @cardamomkiss DINK was the last acronym that i could figure out in this post
    via stinkbug
  • Q neature vs norture @chionogirl Replying to @cardamomkiss I love when they post their expenses too and it's like 2 leased Mercedes and $8,000 mortgage and they have no idea how to afford 1 child
    via chionogirl
  • @cardamomkiss Replying to @chionogirl Someone please help me budget this my family is starving 2025 Spending: $113k non-discretionary • Rent: $97k • Groceries: $7k Bills: $6k • Transit: $2k $173k discretionary • Travel: $66k (+2.5 million pts) • • ⚫ Shopping: $42k Dining Out: $32k Entertainment: $20k Personal Care: $12k • Other: $1k • Total spending: - $285k (Most of the discretionary spending is driven by my wife. We might be able to cut down, but a lot of things like housing and travel will be
    via cardamomkiss
  • a man and a woman dressed in cream hold hands and smile under a white veranda
    via Javier González Fotógrafo

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Joseph Alessio ❤ @alessio_joseph Replying to @cardamomkiss absurd but would also note most of the comp there is probably illiquid
    via alessio_joseph
  • Dan @dsmith0525 Replying to @cardamomkiss How do I afford a baby we only make $1,000,000 a year
    via dsmith0525
  • gingersnap212 @gingersnap2123 Replying to @cardamomkiss The mistake is that they expect to feel rich and feel like because they make $700k-$1m they are entitled to live like rich people
    via gingersnap2123
  • nicole ruiz ❤ @nwilliams030 everyone is so silly imagine being this mentally trapped
    via nwilliams030
  • David Rose @David RoseHRL This person 1000% Venmo requests half a sandwich on the regular
    via DavidRoseHRL
  • the Rich @Duderichy it's difficult to understate how hilariously easy it is to raise kids in nyc on $1M/yr
    via Duderichy
  • P®|\A7 @priyav012 If you're scratching your heads like me, here you go - HENRY - High Earner Not Rich Yet VHCOL - Very High Cost Of Living FIRE - Financial Independence, Retire Early. You're welcome. P. S: Assuming you already know DINK (it was the only acronym I knew!).
    via priyav012
  • Laura Lupin @bugsandfishes People who self-identify as a HENRY ("High Earner Not Rich Yet") are so wildly delusional, I love them, how do these people hold down jobs???
    via bugsandfishes
  • Stat ANDREJO @Andr3jH my feeling reading these acronyms Damien Owens @OwensDamien I'm 50. All celebrity news looks like this: 'CURTAINS FOR ZOOSHA? K-SMOG AND BATBOY CAUGHT FLIPPING A GRUNT'
    via Andr3jH
  • daily JONGHYUN... @bearythebear819 Finance people truly speak a whole different language like what even ks this saying
    via bearythebear819
  • LEF ness. @nessisnothere refuse to believe these are real people
    via nessisnothere
  • dimple haver @beatface came home from work feeling good about making almost $4k this month and then I saw this
    via beatface
  • tutu @softshock well to start you'll need to chill with the acronyms, babies can't spell.
    via s0ftshock
  • PokéMar Lumiose @PokeMarr I genuinely don't understand how people make this much money. Like what do you mean you're working 2 jobs at the same time that are collectively paying you 700k for the year that does not make sense
    via PokeMarr

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nyc income kids family rich people planning money couple
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